the devil is trying my patience

so i haven't been on for a sec cuz i have been coming home and passing out
just flopping on the floor and waking up to the crickets.. or rain/hail pelting the windows.
and feeling cold..weird, i typically don't get cold..
my craving for baking soda is back... let's me know that my soul is deeply disturbed
so they say art mirrors life..well does life mirror art or just reflect it?

the other day i was ranting about how this dang blasted place won't do what it's supposed to when it comes to snow and ice and i was just putting the finishing touches on my mental email to the mayor when my car spunt out. i mean it just went around in a circle a couple of times while i was trying to park.

my response: i got out the car with the club and beat the ground.. it crack a little but not enough to effect any type of progress for me to straighten my vehicle so i said bump it. it wasn't anything i could do at that moment but lock my car up and proceed to work and yeah my car was in disarray but i couldn't worry about it, so i left and laughed.

cars are blessings and curses.. i just spent over $300 to get it back right due to it's off road driving i couldn't afford to be late to the plantation.

so my child has taken to acting out as of late. he even called his grown cousin a nigger. i mean she is one but that's not the point. lmbdo. then he has taken to crapping on himself. do you know how much effort it takes to crap on yourself. i want to beat him but he would probably "get dead" so i just take away things he likes doing like eating supper and playing bball and with rocks. i'm sorry i don't do doodoo

massah is the devil in the flesh and today is pay day and um i didn't get paid. he claims he had no funds. so i am sitting on my hands right now to keep from torching his office... he ain't gots no funds in a sec he won't have a practice.. u play with my money, u playn with your life. but imma just sit here and say my kumbyus until monday cuz i know it's the devil messing with my soul.. he trying to get me to slip..

i won't give him this victory or this war. imma have to figure out how much of my money maker imma have to shake to get them neyo tickets.

one luv and hugs cuz i know i can't be the only one that needs one