Are you the YOU, you want to be or the YOU someone told you to be?

In order to effect true positive change in your experience, you must disregard how things are-as well as how others are seeing you-and give more attention to the way you prefer things to be.





i took this quote off someone else's discussion because it so poignantly stated what was muddled in my brain.

it's funny because most of my life i have beat to my own drum. did my own thing and not really cared who had anything to say about it because last time i checked, i came in this world by my lonesome and was probably checking out by my lonesome. however, there are distinct turning points in my life where i went against myself and lent a listening ear to all the naysayers and DL Haters and just unhappy people around me, and it didn't fair well for me.

the first time would be when i knew right down to the core of me that i needed to take a break before coming to college. i wanted to travel, to experience life, i wanted to sleep. i had pushed myself so hard to get to where i was... first black valedictorian female in my school, sporting a 4.995 g.p.a., tennis team, swim team, chess club, academic decathlon, asia club, middle eastern club, french club, PIP, Key Club, Kiwannis, Big Bruh Bis Sis, you name it, i was probably on it and actively involved. i just wanted to take a year off and just chill and then here come the naysayers with their hater shirts on

(hi haters) you need to go to college right away. you don't need to take the year off..if you do you will never make it back...you are wasting OUR opportunity...you have too much to lose.. please don't let US down.

so, i came to school and got so sick that i basically had to repeat my entire first year. stay in the hospital...and you know what the dr. said? yup, you should have taken a year off, you had pushed yourself too much...your body shut down because you didn't rest it. funny thing, i don't remember none of the haters digging in their pockets after i lost my full ride to help me continue OUR dream.

then their was the issue of financing school with a loan.. yeah i had worked so hard..i received so many free rides, why would i go to a school that i had to finance with loans?

(i see yah haters) End result, i wound up at a school that i didn't particularly care for and spent the next 8 or 9 years in undergrad sulking about how i should have followed my gut and went to the A (me and T.I. could be married by now) i mean after i lost my scholarship i had to fund my career with guess what... LOANS!!!!!


and then there was the time i was told that i shouldn't date this person or feel this way about that person because they were not up to par...they weren't good enough for me...they weren't 'um i don't know what? ROYALTY? so i hid my true feelings in an effort to spare their feelings if someone came out the pocket when we were together.

(big ups to all my haters) so i let a good one get away and for what... for someone who also was dating, feeling, married to a blue collared worker? i mean i understand you wanting the best for someone but dang.. was it you wanting the best or wanting me to be alone? last time i check pedigree nor money bought class or character.

so now i am back in a place where i tell peeps 'do you cuz imma do me' and that involves becoming the me that I like, no, that I LOVE, because if i can't stand to live, look at, or take out ME then how in the hamsandwich can i expect someone else too? so people LIVE YOUR LIFE and stop trying to live someone else's for them...(unless you birthed them and then only if they under the age of 10) figure out who you want to be and what you want to do for you... and when them lil birdies come with their tidbits of info, do what we sung about in the army "SMASH THEIR LIL HEADS!"

HATE ON ME HATERS CUZ I'M DOING JUST FINE.