The Good, The Bad, The Ugly of 2008

I must first start off by saying that I am so thankful for the small things in life...things that I at times have overlooked. Like, I am thankful that I have an uncle that loves me unconditionally, whether I am engaging in something that is good, bad, or ugly. I love yah Unc and I thank Jah for you everyday. I am thankful to be able to open my eyes each day with the opportunity of making that day better than the day before. There were times when I placed no value on life and could care less about if I had another day to make it right...but now that I AM MAKING POSITIVE TRANSFORMATIONS I am very grateful that I was given the opportunity to grow in maturity to understand that I cannot be indifferent about everything, esp. life.

'08 was a beast of a year. There were things that brought me to my knees, like losing my cousin to breast cancer and just watching how selfish and inconsiderate people are even when tragedy strikes.

Like hearing the news that B-Man had died and seeing that all the money in the world couldn't save him or Issac, reenforcing the fact that money can't buy you love, life, class, or morals.

I really came into my own in '08 and learn the power of forgiveness...it's a shame when you hold a grudge against yourself. I knew that the only thing constant was change but I didn't quite remember change being so hard. We always know what the right and the PC thing to do, but somethings it's so gosh darn hard to do it, esp. when we have been doing the opposite for so long.

I finally stopped giving God my butt to kiss and started giving him my LIFE to bless. It's crazy how control crazy we can become that we don't even allow God to do what HE wants to do for us. I was a master at given HIM a problem and then taking it back...well I have gotten into the habit now of giving it to HIM and telling HIM that it's HIS to keep...and in the '09 I plan to perfect this technique because it's so easy for me to slip back into doing things my way even though they never quite worked out how I anticipated or wanted them to.


2pac asked a very valid question: how long will they mourn me? and the answer is: the ones that don't love you won't mourn you at all and the ones that do will mourn you until they have learn to live without you... for some this may take weeks or months and for others it may take years....

i have been mourning the death of myself for 9 years now and well my weeping well has finally run dry. and it's no coincidence that it ran dry right when i had finally came to grips with the fact that the me that i used to be is long gone but the me that i can be has yet to be written. for so long i have been waiting on something to happen for me...for me to get a decent paying job, for me to find a decent man with a decent paying job, for somebody who promised to get me a tennis bracelet to actual get it, for me to get this and get that and well, i am done with waiting in the '09 it will be about me getting.