Knock Knock Knockin at my Door

It's 4 am 'knock knock' 'knock knock knock' 'knock knock knock knock knock' 'a baby's cry'

What in the hamsandwich is going on? At the first knock, I became a lil apprehensive... I had been getting random 3 and 4 am knocks on my door right after my friend was brutally gunned down . And normally I didn't answer the door or go anywhere near it. I used to just stand in the floor real silent like daring somebody to bust through it. They would bang on my door for about five minutes and leave. As I heard the footsteps echoing farther and farther from my door, I would approach my door to listen to see if I could discern where they were heading...then I would hear a door shut. The next day, I would go around knocking on my neighbors' doors asking them if they had been knocking on my door at the crack of dawn. They would all say, "NO." So, you can understand my uneasiness to awaken to the banging on my door, yet again. However, this time I would approach the door while the knocking was still in progress because I heard a baby and I knew one of two things: 1. my friend was in trouble and needed a place to hide out or 2. her buffoon of a baby daddy was acting crazy YET AGAIN and had taken the baby.

I looked out the peephole and ding ding ding well take option number 2. "What do you want Moofasah?"

"Truthz, please, open the door."

"What do you want."

"T-C fighting me. She's gone mad. She's fighting me while I have the baby." Now the fact that this negro standing at my door let's me know she ain't gone mad enough because it would be no way he would be able to walk let alone talk if she had gone mad for real. This fool had put her through a lot of drama. He had recently been caught cheating on her and all he had to say to her was that if she put him out again then he would do again. Then he had the audacity to tell her how good the other woman was...so yeah, like I said, she hadn't gone mad. The baby was hollering and I just shook my head, thinking about the running joke that the baby only cries when he holds him.

I cracked my door and said," Give me the baby."

"but she--" the alcohol smell emitting from his breath was making me nauseous.

"Give me the Baby!" I firmly said as I grabbed the baby from his arms and slammed the door as he was still talking. The funny thing is, the instant I took the baby he stopped crying. I still have flashbacks about hurting Moofasah. This negro had held my child inches from a burning flame talking about he was going to burn him. He quickly learned that if you play with fire you will get burnt. He still don't understand why I did to him what I did. Don't ask me how my blade got to his neck and how my child got in my arms... I tend to black out during fits of rage.


so now that I had the baby I needed to make sure my friend was okay because, um Crazy had the baby and she wasn't on his heels. I called--no answer. I called again--no answer. I waited 20 minutes and called again and she picked up in tears. I asked her if she was okay because if not I had some decisions to make...some that might alter my now bright future. She said yeah that they were fighting. I asked her if she was hurt and she said 'no' so I told her to come down to my place. I was glad that she was fighting because that meant that she was finally feeling something besides just helplessness. You don't fight when you're totally defeated, you just take what comes at you.

So she came and talked and cried and well it's crazy what we as women are willing to put up with. I mean I was just talking to my cousin the day before about why is it that we as women have all this mouth and attitude with everyone else but when it comes to our men we are willing to accept whatever. All that mouth and attitude goes to the wayside. Why is that? I mean trust and believe, my mouth and attitude went into overdrive when I was in a relationship... I didn't let NOTHING slide...and well that proved to be a problem too. But I just wanted to go pick up T-C and shake her like a ragdoll...maybe she had something loose inside that needed to be shook back into place, but instead of shaking her, I simply asked: "Are you tired yet?"

"I don't know, I guess so."

I just shook my head and lent my ear because I knew in my heart she wasn't tired yet. Because when you're tired, when you good and tired, there's no guessing to be done. You know when you have had enough, when you are tired of crying, tired of wondering, tired of fighting, tired of staying up late nights, you know when you sick and tired of being sick and tired and she wasn't there yet. So, all I can do is open the door the next time I hear a knocking accompanied by a baby's cry.