Ode to my PIC

So, I will explain why I've been away...Just not today.

The other day, I went to my school graduation...I was volunteering or so they thought..I was really there trying to scope out how easy it was going to be for me to smuggle in more people than i had tickets for, for my graduation next year.. It proved to be almost a total waste of time cuz it was like a practice graduation and the real graduation is not even going to be at the location where we were...so yeah, back to the drawing board...and I wonder why Crush always be calling me the Ultimate Hustler......


Anyways, the speaker for the day was very delightful and he said some things that really touched my soul...some things that really made it click for me....some things that made me cry.
He said these simple words: don't go thru life comparing yourself to the next person and don't let your "somedays" die without ever seeing the light of day.

and he was right... I couldn't go through life wondering why people who couldn't find their buttholes when we were in high school were now millionaires and I was a poor pauper... I couldn't wonder why I was once again interning for nothing when the jerks who backstabbed and cheated and did all sorts of things were getting paid 25oo a wk...I couldn't keep comparing myself to others or I would miss the beauty of being me...and it's hard, im telling you, it's hard to be satisfied with what you have. It's hard to not believe the grass is greener on the other side. IT's hard out there for a pimp, so you know it's hard out there for lil ole me.


So I thought about how my life had started changing a couple of months ago...w/ getting tossed out the wedding and all...(naw, im not bitter) and i thought about when my outlook had changed...it was when my PIC came back into my life.

it's something about that heafa that brings out the superwoman in me. see she has been my alter ego for as long as i can remember...and secretly, i have been jealous of her. she had the great family that was oh so close, she had the coolest clothes and always seemed to be having the best time. she always had all the dudes chasing her and she had a fine grandfather too. so when we are together, i have to step my game up because i don't want her to think i am not cool enough or whathave you... it always feels like i have to impress her cuz she has done all of the celebs and chilled with some cool peeps.


so when she came back and i told her how chaotic my life had been due to her not being in my life, resulting with me having to deal with amateurs to do some high tech stuff, like make a prank call to LUV's job to put fear in his heart, she couldn't help but laugh...and when I told her abt Crush and how I giggled uncontrollaby in his presence, she gave me the courage to take it to the next level...just simply because i didn't want to let her down...didn't want her to think that i was lame...and others noticed this newfound confidence.


But the more I thought abt our relationship after listening to the speaker's voice, I realized something that I probably would have realized a long time ago if I wasn't so busy trying to impress PIC...and that's that I was PIC's alter ego... strange as it may seem, I think she thought i had the better life...or she may have been jealous or envious of some of the things I have going on for me... not sure why, but it's true. (she probably would never admit it) but to think i have been going this long comparing my life according to what she had done... and she probably looking at her life and comparing it to what i have done.. Life's funny like that.


and life is too short and i may never be rich enough to stop working so i can work on MY CHILD's entertainment career or find an agent for my book, so i can't keep saying some day when I have the time and the money im going to do x, y, and z.....


My some day is today....how about yours?


(PS, i am reading all that i have missed so bear w/ me if I didn't comment on your page yet.)