It IS What It IS pt. 2

So this will be a tribute to the second anonymous because I am sure that prick is one who will never step outside of their box and understand how others live their life.


So, after my heated car discussion, I called some of my FRIENDS a word I don't use lightly and asked them what they thought.


One of my friends said that people use their situations as an excuse to not do better and she was sick of it. If our situations really defined who we are or what we are going to do then she would still be with her child's father. Because growing up in her parent's house watching her father beat her mother, she would have been socialized into believing it was okay for a man to beat you.


My Question to her: Your son's father beat you?
Her: Yeah....but not all the time.
Me: How long were you with him before you left?
Her: Six years
Me: You don't think the fact that it took you SIX YEARS and not six days or a day to leave had nothing to do with what you saw growing up?
Her: I don't know....I don't think so because I left and if it really did I would have stayed.
Me: I think it did but I also think the fact that you wanted to change and wanted something different for yourself is what allowed you to have the strength to leave.
Her: I still think some use it as it excuse.
Me: Yeah, some do.



I had the same convo with my girl from the Dirty South.
She said that she didn't think people used it as an excuse, that people are a product of their environment. The difference is that some people don't need much motivation for them to change or for them to see outside of their box. Others need to see people who are similarly situated trying to do something different. Then there are some people who not only need to see these people trying but have to see them succeed at going against the grain before they will even attempt to try and change their situation. Then there are some who will not ever try because they feel that they will fail anyway so why change.



I agree that we all have the ability to change but like everything else we all need different things to do this. The bottom line is that you have to WANT to change. If not, you will without a doubt fall into the trap of doing what you are familiar with even if you didn't agree with it when it was happening to you or when you were viewing it. I make a conscious effort everyday not to abuse my kids, and there are some days that I almost fall short. But, I do not let my shortcomings for that day stop me from trying to do better the next day.


We all have choices to make and sometimes the ones we make may not make sense to those on the outside looking in, and it may be because they don't want it to make sense to them because it would shatter their false reality or it could be because it is actually foolishness we are involved in. So like I said before, in the end, it is what it is.