Deflated

So just like that, my air has been let out. Crush has a girlfriend, maybe.... i heard it through the grapevine and ever since, i have been out of sorts. Yeah, i could take it with a grain of salt, but i don't even want to go there again. Luv not only broke my heart but i allowed him to crush my soul, allowed him to erase away all of the beautiful things that made me, me. And i don't want any more drama like that, other woman drama.

I know me and i can't do the casual sex thing without going crazy. I have never really be in the dating scene where you dress to impress and go get yo' man kinda thing. Like i said before, if you came up to me and was like yo' i like you, let's get together, we got together whether i liked you or not. BUT the new me isn't about settling. It's about getting what i deserve. and I deserve to be happy and i deserve a man that i don't have to buy his meal off the dollar menu cuz he ain't gots it this week or even last week.....


Crush was my chance to step the game up. To have the whole package. the brains, beauty, and the money. MONEY POWER RESPECT, that's what's up. so now i am wondering if the LD man who runs the copier, or the Nuggat man who drives our ride on bus or the Severely balding librarian is all that i can get..... which keeps me thinking about the homeless man i messed with. (yeah, i know i owe you that blog and will soon come)


So even though Crush saw Red when they spotted me in my outfit...it was most likely just lust. or shock. shock to see that the girl who always sported the baggy clothes and ponytail cleaned up so well. who's to know?


But, i will still cook his dinner and send him on his marry way.

Bummed until i find another prospect