A Moment For Giving Thanks

Okay so for the past two days I haven't been able to finish blogging about my mini-saga because I have had a headache out of this world.... and i'm not one to get sick let alone headaches so when i get one, i am all out of whack cuz i am out of my element. not sure if i am stressing cuz i am living and luvin life. not life "life" but the over all picture of life.

yeah, that's the best i can do at explaining it, so either you gonna get it or you ain't. so is life

but the other day things were just falling in place for me even when things were going wrong. i still have a dilemna, well not really, but i kinda sorta do..but i can't talk about that right now, i gots to unmuddle the madness so i can make it somewhat followable.

so i met up with molasses and he asked me what my angle was..why was i doing this? i mean i'm at the welfare office in the morning, i am trucking around helping needy kids, etc. after that, was i doing it to write a book to glorify my struggle? he's saying all this as he is adding more clients to my workload. yeah, i am sure that check is gonna look halfway decent whenever i get paid. i had to chuckle cuz i could have simply stated that i already have two completed books and another near completion so i really didn't need any more material...yeah i know, and i am working on that too.. this too shall pass. anywho, i didn't respond, i just smiled and lived in the moment and thanked Jah.... molasses didn't even understand how God was allowing him to bless me and at that moment even though i was living on borrowed time cuz i don't really do the borrowing of money, i didn't even feel like i was struggling. maybe it was because the "stressing" wasn't there because it had been replaced by faith.

so today i went to see one of my clients and well it just does something to me when i cross the the river.. it so distinctly different from when i cross the park. i mean to see the popo station themselves on the corner as the elementary schools let out... i'm like wow, not even high school, elementary. i'm like they are babies, what could they possibly be doing to warrant this type of attention....then these "babies" pass by the open windows of my cars and i'm appalled at the language erupting from their lips...like for real you what 7 years old and calling someone a B*** and telling someone you gonna F** them up. then my client tells me how the slumlords property managers refused to fix her leaking toilet talking about she has two, use the other. and he was of the other persuasion so you know he wouldn't have been talking that smack across the park. so she wakes up to her ceiling caving in from her toilet running.. so now they have no choice but to fix it but they leave the cracked ceiling... so yeah i'm like, document, take pics and forward it to the health department.. i would be calling everyday saying i got feces on my ceilings.. i'm not sure if she does, BUT, it is a toilet and feces does go in a toilet and it would be a health violation AND the health department would surely respond and her property manager SLUMLORD would certainly respond faster the next go around...if the government didn't yank their government contract with them... i was dumbfounded watching this smigger walk to these residence with an armed guard trailing behind him. if you scared what you doing in the hood? take yourself back across the park.. don't be across the river exploiting people who already rubbing two nickles together trying to make a quarter. i mean it's broad daylight bruh and the popos cruisin this neighborhood every 3.5 minutes and if you think that highly about the people you renting to, what you let them sign the lease for? i wish ole man wanna be a freak would come knock on my door with some heavy artillery talking about he wants to inspect my house to see if i have cleaned up...hmph the world would finally get to see what a beast i am in the courtroom.

so as i drove back across the river to get my child from between the river and the park, i let out a big sigh and said thank you Jah because even though i would love to get a place across the park i am so glad we are at least across the river... things certainly can be worse even when we are at our lowest point and i am extremely grateful my child doesn't know the difference between a fire cracker and a gun shot.