Defining growth by myspace

i had a convo with a mutual acquaintance and they said something that made some things in my life just fall into place...

"sometimes you have to let go of who you were in order for you to become who you are"


it's weird because just looking at it, it kinda looks silly and sound silly but it was the answer that i was looking for, and the funny thing was, he wasn't even talking about me.

does letting go of who you were make you a sell-out? i wonder, and maybe that is why i just can't let the hood in me die. i was watching Baldwin Hills the other day, for the first time, and i felt embarassed for Staci... the hood gurl intermingling with the rich crowd. that's how i feel a lot, that i am the hood girl in the rich man's world. the episode i saw was when it was that skank "GER" somebody's bday and she had a party and Staci was like "this a party, why yall just sittin her... get up and dance...followed by a bunch of cuss words." then Staci proceeded to get the party crunk by giving a lap dance to one of the guest. well it was at that point that i was praying that Staci was drunk because she was making a plum fool of herself. See it's one thing to rep where u from and another thing to enforce the negativity associated with where you are from. Staci was dressed in her "hood" club gear, now in my opinion, she was lookn fly, looking exactly how people dress when they go clubbing, but looking around at all the high class black folks in the room, she wasn't dressed appropriately because these negros had on suits and ties and cocktail dresses on like they were at a homecoming dance and what nots. then the fact she started regulating a party that was not for her, well it just made her look like she had no home training. The sad thing about the entire situation is that I think Staci was acting that way because she felt out of place. I think she felt that if she didn't go in there and act "hood" that she would be faking about who she was... i think she was worried about her homies thinking she was a sell-out.

now, i don't think that by letting go of who i was will make me a sell-out as much as i fear that i may become disenchanted like those before me that have let go... become disillusioned and disconnected with the people who made me who i am today. i have a responsibility to lift as i rise and i cannot do that if those that i am trying to lift believe that i have left them behind...therefore, i have to find a balance of letting go who i was and who i now see when i stare in the mirror


one luv,

truthz