luv is....

i want so badly to be in luv...
not that one-sided luv
i always seem to find
that luv that makes merrys go round
that luv that makes u feel safe at night
that luv that makes u shake w/ glee
that luv that keeps eluding me..

well i am officially done w/ Thumper... he is by far the biggest guy i have messed around w/...and by far the meanest... he would constantly hang up on me when he wasn't getting his way...or when he was done talking to me... he was IM other gurls in front of me.... Y u may ask did i take this....becuz i am looking for luv...or as EDDIE said...whooking pu nuv in all de wrong places... did i luv Thumper....hell to the naw...but it felt good to have someone to cuddle w/ even if it was on their time...even if they always complained that i was taking up too much space on their bed... i guess my search will continue...

he said that i tried to contol the relationship instead of letting it play out...well, hell.. i am not as young as most...though i still look good. i am ready to have that dream...u know the one w/ a husband that cooks....naw but at least a provider... i am tired of making the way for both of us.. i want someone who could take care of me if i say got pregnant... its no fun strugglin

but sometimes when u have loved with all your heart and all of your might and it fails...you don't want to love again. or never in that way so u look for shallow substitutes.that is what Thumper was... a substitute for love...

there is this other guy who i met earlier in the year who is back on the scene? all we had was common convo...like hey...what's going on...nothing too serious... i ran into Memory the other day and he was like do you remember me? u used to wear that one coat....but i think he smokes...and i don't like smokers

then there is this 60 year old man that is saying all the right things but he sixty what da hell do i want w/ him... i said i wanted someone to take e care of me not someone i had to baby sit and bury.

n e ways i am sad right now cuz the Truth of the matter is i am tired of being alone....
i need a guy to make my life complete....
if it isn't luv y does it feel this way...y does he stay on my mind...
okay the ramblings have begun so let me go...
but if u still looking for that ying to your yang...let me know so that i know i aint totally alone